Clutter doesn’t happen in a day. Many people find it’s easy to collect more and more with each year — so it makes sense that there is no way to organize all of it in a single day. Even so, decluttering and organizing is worth it, since an organized home can feel very freeing and peaceful. Now, consider that your elderly loved ones have had more years than you, during which they have collected a lot, whether it’s souvenirs, gifts, paperwork, or just old items that aren’t broken. They might need your help organizing their home, so that they too can feel that freeing peace. However, it can be very intimidating to try to organize your loved one’s things, especially since they have spent a lifetime collecting them.
Finding the right home organization solution can help make this process easier. It’s an important decision, one that depends on your specific goals and needs. AARP offers these steps to help you find the solution that works best for you and your loved ones.
Have a frank conversation with your loved one.
While you go through each item in the house, speak frankly with your loved one about what they want to do with it: gift it to family members, donate it, or throw it away.
Remember, if your loved one decides they want to gift some of their belongings to family members, have an open and honest conversation with your elderly loved one to make sure that they are okay with recipients saying “no, thank you” to any gifted items. And if they’re not okay with that, consider an alternative solution.
IMPORTANT: Before gifting anything, first ask the intended recipient if they would like to have that item. Things like family china, silver, or items that don’t have monetary value, might have sentimental value to some family members, but not everyone attributes the same sentimentality to things. And that’s okay, too. There is a vulnerability in asking if they would like to inherit these items. But clutter doesn’t have to be inherited.
After having these conversations, roll up your sleeves and get started!
Declutter with compassion
Before you start throwing out everything you consider “garbage”, take a deep breath, look around, and remember that the excess paper and belongings is likely just as overwhelming for your loved one as it is for you. If it isn’t, that just means they’ve gotten used to it, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. Either way, charging in and tossing everything away without their cooperation can cause unnecessary stress for you both.
Instead, treat this as a project you can do together, one without a hard deadline or pressure to “succeed.” Decluttering and organizing years, often decades of life — because that what it is, really, mementos of your loved one’s life — can’t be completed in one day.
Try this:
- Schedule a day and time to work on this with your loved one
- On that day, set a timer for 1 hour (or an amount of time your loved one can manage)
- Take a break — during which, you can celebrate your accomplishments or ask your loved one questions about a notable item you found
- Repeat the “timed clean + break” process as many times as you feel comfortable
- At the end of the “session”, make plans to do it again another day.
This method engages your loved one, gives them agency over what happens to their belongings, and allows them to walk through the memories that might arise without pressure. And you get to throw some things in the trash, too, perhaps while listening to a story you’ve never heard before.
Call in the professionals
You don’t have to do it all alone. There are many professional organizing companies with a passion to help when it’s time to begin that process. Sometimes having the fresh eyes of someone who is not emotionally tied to what needs to be organized makes all the difference.
What do you need a professional organizer to do for you?
Most people find that having someone there as an outside resource helps when it comes time to talk through the process of home organization. Some areas of home organization include closets, toys, kitchen, garage, office, files, and papers. Think about the area of your space that is creating the most clutter in your mind and that’s where to start.
How do you find the best individual or company to help?
Ask yourself if you prefer to work with one person or a team on your organizing project. Care is There can help or refer you to our partners for outside assistance, if needed.
What should you do on your own prior to beginning this process?
Think about the area of your space that is causing the most stress or clutter for you. Look at areas that need the most attention to create a safe and comfortable space for you to live and work and that is where to start. Begin to remove unwanted items on your own to donate, trash, or sell.
What should you expect to pay?
Hourly rates vary depending on the professional. Hourly rates can range from $50 - 100, with time spent between 2 and 10 hours, depending on if it is a single person or a team. You can call local organizing companies to get quotes.
Organizing your loved one’s home might not be easy, but keep in mind that an uncluttered area helps to have an uncluttered mind.
How Care is There can help:
- Help you and your loved one sort through your possessions and help you decide what you really need to keep.
- Provide an outside perspective to help with decision making.
- Make suggestions to help you keep similar items together.
- Help you create open spaces with clear pathways.
- Help you and your loved one find an organizing company to help meet your needs.
(Image source: Photo by Jaclyn Baxter on Unsplash)
Next Steps
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