Senior Citizens and Driving: How to Talk to Your Elderly Parents About Driving

Talking to your elderly parent about driving

Are you worried that your elderly parent can no longer drive safely?  This series of articles tells you what you can do, including:

1. What the law says about elderly drivers.
2. The process and implications of reporting an unsafe elderly driver.
3. How driving skills are assessed for senior citizens.
4. Can my loved one improve their skills and regain their driver’s license?
5. How to talk to your elderly parent about driving.
6. Dementia – what if my parent forgets they can’t drive?
7. Life after driving.

How to Talk to Your Elderly Parents About Driving

When speaking to your loved one, remember that driving is a powerful symbol of and facilitator of freedom and independence.  It also forces older people to consider that they may no longer be capable of performing a task that they’ve been doing since they were a teenager!  So it is important to discuss the subject with respect and consideration.

The AARP recommend these tips in their video:

• Have several small conversations rather than one big conversation.
• Determine which family member has the best chance of success in the conversation, and let them take the lead (usually the spouse or, if no spouse, then an adult child.)  Don’t gang up on your parent.
• Look for opportunities to talk:  health changes, etc., new prescriptions, etc.
• Make a transportation plan to keep your elderly parent engaged.
• Be supportive before, during, and after the conversation!  It may actually bring your family closer together.

As you are having these difficult discussions, remember that you are not only looking after the safety of your loved one, but the safety of the families of other people who are on the road.  If you believe your loved one is an unsafe driver, you have an ethical responsibility to protect their safety by seeing that your loved one has his or her driving skills assessed.

The AARP gives a seminar about talking to your elderly parent about driving, based on research from the MIT AgeLab. 

If all else fails, a family member (or a licensed health care professional treating the patient) can confidentially report a potentially unsafe driver to the DMV for evaluation – in the State of Virginia.  Each state has different laws, so check the laws in your state.

Next article in this series on Elderly Parents and Driving:  “Dementia – What if my Parent Forgets They Can’t Drive?”

Entire series on Elderly Parents and Driving:

1. What the law says about elderly drivers.
2. The process and implications of reporting an unsafe elderly driver.
3. How driving skills are assessed for senior citizens.
4. Can my loved one improve their skills and regain their driver’s license?
5. How to talk to your elderly parent about driving.
6. Dementia – what if my parent forgets they can’t drive?
7. Life after driving.