We know that once we get to November and Thanksgiving, the holiday season is in full swing. Your loved one wants to be included in the holiday planning, whether they live with you, live just down the block, or across the country. Including the older adult in your life does not have to cause added stress, and when you plan ahead, you can alleviate a lot of that worry. Here are some strategies that will help you provide joy to your loved one’s holiday season.

Deciding when & where

First, ask yourself a few questions to get at the heart of what would make the holidays enjoyable for you and your loved one:

• How important is it that you celebrate the holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, etc.) on the actual date of the holiday with your loved one?
• If you or they have to travel to be together, could a pre- or post-holiday visit be easier for all of you?
• If an in-person visit is not possible, could a zoom call, FaceTime or even a phone call help you and your loved one get together?

Tip: Encourage friends and family members to arrange contact with your loved one as well.

Remember

• A holiday meal does not have to be dinner. Going out for lunch or brunch can be a fun outing, or taking all the fixings to your loved one’s home could reduce a lot of holiday stress.
• Meal preparation and clean-up can be meaningful “together” times to converse, reminisce, and connect.
• If your loved one is in a senior living facility, see what plans the facility has for the holidays and if you and your family are welcome to join in.

Mom’s house or your house?

If your parents have always hosted your holiday dinners, acknowledge that there will come a time when preparing a large meal will be too much for them. However, your parents may resist giving up the traditional role of hosting. One reason for that reluctance may stem from the fear that they are no longer needed, or thought incapable of fulfilling this role.

There are two ways to keep your loved one involved, while lessening the stress placed on them:

1. Have your loved one host the event, if possible, but take on the meal preparation and cooking duties. You can share these duties with other members of your family.
2. If your loved one can’t host and the location changes to your home or another adult child’s home, for instance, include your family member during the planning and preparation. This will ensure they feel involved and needed.

Keep it simple

Keep holiday activities with your loved one to a manageable level, based on their, and your, ability. You may not be able to do everything you used to do, such as all day shopping, visiting multiple people in one day, cooking in a hot kitchen all day, or whatever your childhood traditions may be. Try to do everything exactly the way it was when you, and they, were younger will only lead to stress and frustration for everyone. Accept the changes in your loved one and plan ahead—this will make for happier holiday get-togethers.

Happy Holidays from Care is There!

Do you need help managing the care of an elderly loved one in Charlottesville, Harrisonburg, Staunton or Waynesboro Virginia?

Contact us at Care is There Geriatric Care Management 800.434.1633 or info@careisthere.com. We offer geriatric care management, support for independent living, assisted living enhancement, Aging Life Care™ services, and peace of mind for long distance caregivers. We can:

• Check in on your loved ones when you cannot be together during the holidays.
• Pick up food and supplies to take the stress out of holiday meals.
• Help facilitate connection through technology and help your family connect.

For more advice about spending time with your loved ones this holiday season:

• What to Watch for at the Holidays – Signs of Decline in Your Elderly Parents
• Connecting with Elderly Parents over the Holidays

AGING LIFE CARE™ is a trademark of the Aging Life Care Association. Only ALCA members are authorized to use this term to identify their services. See the Team page of CareisThere.com for a list of our associates, and look for the Aging Life Care logo on the bio pages of our ACLA members.